Does this sometimes frantic morning scenario resemble your life?
- Mom, there’s no more bread for sandwiches!
- Where’s my permission slip to go to the zoo today?
- Mom, Where are my clean socks?
- Mom, did you remember to sign me up for the art class?
- Can 3 of my friends come over after school today? And can you pick us up?
- You keep promising we’ll get the birthday present but the party is tomorrow!
- What’s for dinner?
Being a mom has its challenges.
Even in two parent families, moms are given most of the responsibility for taking care of the kids and keeping a household running smoothly. This entails detail after detail and if a mom has ADHD, it’s even harder. If you are a mom with attention deficit disorder, you may have been diagnosed when your child was. So not only do you have to manage your own challenges with executive functioning, you have to help your children manage theirs as well. That’s a lot!
As women, we tend to overlook our own needs and take care of everyone else first. We rarely take the time to recharge and nurture ourselves. We may also believe that being a good mom means doing it all. Perfectly. Why are we so hard on ourselves?
The truth is, our kids are not going to remember whether the floors were always clean and they probably preferred macaroni and cheese from a box. The things they will remember are going on adventures together, laughing together, being creative together, and feeling loved. And those are all the things that can come easily for moms with ADHD.
So if you tend to beat yourself up for not doing everything right, forgetting things, or being disorganized, please try to give yourself a break. Here are 12 more helpful approaches to take:
- Learn as much as you can about attention deficit disorder so you can lessen any self-blame
- Take the time to give your children a hug and remind them how much they are loved.
- Make something creative with your kids.
- Do something physical, fun, and active with your family
- Make sure your spouse, partner or other involved adults in your life understand about ADHD
- See if you can enlist the help of others for the tasks you hate or find impossible
- Have family meetings to problem solve when things feel out of control
- Figure out how to carve out some time just for you to recharge.
- If you can afford it, hire a teenage mother’s helper so you can get things done without being interrupted
- Also, if you can afford it, hire someone to deep clean your house even once a month
- Have a family calendar where everyone can see it with events and appointments you all need to remember
- Take the time to plan out your day, every day, either early in the morning or the night before.
If you would like to work with an ADHD coach who understands these challenges and can help you develop strategies that will benefit you and your whole family, please contact me below. I look forward to hearing from you!